Have you ever felt manipulated at work? Have you experienced someone questioning your work even though you know you were right and it led you to question your own work? If the answer is right, you have been a victim of gaslighting.
What is gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that includes bullying and exclusion. It is a form of mental manipulation that forces the victim to question their own involvement in the matter and come to the conclusion that they are at fault. The one who gaslights is called a gaslighter; it can be a discouraging manager, a manipulative coworker, a frustrated customer, or a business customer. And the victim is called gaslightee. The term comes from the 1938 play named ‘Gaslight’ where the husband gradually manipulates the wife to believe she’s going insane.
Though gaslighting is most common in relationships, it can be observed in workplaces as well. Imagine your boss refusing to accept that you have delivered them a report a few days or even hours ago repeatedly. After some heavy dose of manipulation or gaslighting, you begin to question whether you actually submitted the report.
Signs of gaslighting in the workplace
Though gaslighting is the most subtle form of psychological abuse, it can have a dangerous impact on the mental health of the gaslightee. It can make you fear your work and workplace, preventing you from enjoying your work and actually learning something from it. Your personal life can get hampered by it as well. Many quit their job after being severely gaslighted by employers every year. Here are the most common signs of gaslighting at work:
1. Hearing persistent negative comments about your performance
If you continuously hear negative feedback about your work from someone even though you tried your best, you may have a gaslighter at the office. Critical analysis of your work both good and bad is totally different from gaslighting. A gaslighter will leave no scope to humiliate you even though there is no point to do so.
2. Hearing negative comments and gossip about you
Do you often hear negative comments about you that have been made in front of everyone? This is simply bullying and it is not good for your mental health. Gaslighters also talk bad about you behind your back to everyone, spreading gossip about you rather than confronting you personally.
3. You begin to question your perspective at work
Questioning your perception of reality is the biggest sign of gaslighting. If you ever feel like this in the workplace, you must evaluate your situation to understand whether you’re being gaslighted.
4. The gaslighters belittle you in every step
It feels devastating when you put so much work and effort into something and your manager or coworker belittles all your hard work and perception of the task. This is one of the most prominent examples of gaslighting. A gaslighter will attack you when you’re feeling self-satisfied after you have completed a project putting so much effort in.
5. You get excluded from work events and meetings
A gaslighter will do everything to make you feel inferior. They leave you out of important group activities such as meetings, events, and more at the office. Being excluded regularly by a particular person will make you feel that you did something wrong to deserve it.
How to deal with gaslighting at work?
- Gaslighting is a form of harassment that can seriously impact your work life. Here are some tips to deal with gaslighting at work:
- First, you need to make sure it is gaslighting. The person can be rude in nature and behave like that with everyone. If that is the reason do not take it personally.
- Start documenting gaslighting behavior so you can use them when you take a step against them.
- Discuss it with your colleagues and get their support on the matter. They will be your support when you stand up for yourself.
- Talk to upper management or HR if it gets problematic.
